Friday, 20 May 2016
Everything You Need to Know About National Send a Nude Day
Today is National Send a Nude Day, according to a rising hashtag on the popular website for horndogs, Twitter.com. What is National Send a Nude Day? Where did it come from? Oh, GOD, do I gotta send out the annual mass text of my junk in a tiny birthday hat early?! Calm down, friend. Here's everything you need to know.
What is National Send a Nude Day?
It is a day for sending nude photos to the people you hold near and dear in your life: lovers, friends, side pieces, siblings, grandparents, pets you're particularly fond of. Anyone with a cellular telephone, really.
Oh, wow, very dope. Where did it come from?
Interestingly, this is the first time the hashtag has ever trended. Unlike Christmas and Arbor Day, National Send a Nude Day did not exist in 2015. (Although its cousin, Send Your Man a Nude Day, did. But that was on April 22.) I clicked on at least seven links on Twitter to try to find where it came from—no luck. But I have a working theory: What if National Send a Nude Day was created as a dumb joke on Twitter, but now the Internet hivemind is running with it, because dumb distractions are fun distractions and life is mostly meaningless? At least until we die.
Huh? Is that a joke? I don't get it. Lol. Anyway, I am interested in participating! Should I send my lovers and friends pictures of my dong?
I seriously do not give a fuck!
No, not really.
Rude! What's the best way to send a dick pic?
Thankfully, you are on GQ.com, the world's 37th largest compendium of dick-pic advice on the World Wide Web! Here is some useful content to get the blood flowing, if you know what I mean:
How Do I Take a Dick Pic for a Special Someone?
How Do I Know She Wants to See a Digital Photo of My Penis?
What Are Some Things I Should Avoid When Sending a Dick Pic?
How Do I Send a Dong Shot Without Embarrassing Myself?
How do I solicit nudes from my warm-blooded lover?
Let's get this out of the way first: Never, evvvvvvvver ask for nudes from someone who hasn't made willing physical contact with your peen yet. It's no good. No bueno. You will look like a slimedog. There is just no sexy way to pull this off without coming off as a perv. But! If you and said human are in a relationship? And you have maybe bumped uglies, even if it was for nine minutes? You CAN ask! Just do the right thing and be sure you swap. This ensures the universe remains just and fair.
What is a good nude?
The human body is always beautiful, my man! But since you asked, here is a good photo of Rob Gronkowski's smooth and jovial butt: